"Personals Ad"

I recently wrote an email to someone who has been talking to me about his relationships with women and wanting to work on his fitness and I signed it like this:

Kathleen Ann Dillingham

Dr. of Clueless MaleS On the Ways of Women, Spiritual Guide and Physical Fitness Mentor Who Has Gone Out with Probably Close to Twenty Men in One Year but Sill Searching for Her "True Companion" and Is Not Ashamed To Admit Her Soul Resonates With The Dixie Chick Song, "I Believe In Love" And Knows She Will Find A Partner To Help Co-Captain Grandparents' Camp One Day and Whom Will Like The Song By Mary Chapain Carpenter Too, "Grow Old Along With Me," As That Is What She Is Waiting For And She Will Settle For Nothing Less, In The Meantime, Life Is Good, She is Blessed And Happy And Joke-Swears And Is Called To Be A Teacher And Make A Difference And Wants Someone Who Shares That Dream Too But Wants Them To Be Real So They Can Laugh And Challenge One Another Intellectually And Be Spiritual Without Being Religious Or New-Agey And Talk About Anything Because They Can Communicate And Dang, They Better Dance When They Have The Chance And Not Go To Bed Angry Or Sad AND Sleep Under The Stars In The Backyard Once In A While And She Will Have This With Someone Some Day She Knows It, She is VERY Picky But With Good Reason As She Has A Lot of Love To Give

P.S.

She Will Also Get Full Use of The Entire Car, Including But Not Limited To The Backseat And Somehow That Will Be Icing On The Cake Because She Will Have So Many Other Great Things, Places, Books, Songs To Share That It Will Be Amazing To Have That Part Wonderful As Well But It Can Only Be Good If She Continues To Be Patient For The Right Partner/Person/Friend/Lover But He Has To Know She Has Lots of Friends And That She Is Her Own Person And She Does Not Expect Him To Be EVERYTHING Nor Will She Be EVERYTHING As They Will Be Two Separate People But Better Together And Who Wants Boring? He Will Be Very Lucky And So Will She.

He told me I should take out a personal ad.