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I am a daughter, sister, mother, teacher and friend. These are my stories.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

I've Got All My "Sisters" With Me...In The Dressing Room

What is it about women and the "sisterhood" that we naturally seem to share?

Example: I was recently up to Tahoe with my girlfriend.

In the matter of mere days I was once again reminded of why I appreciate my women friends. We talked the entire drive up the mountain, catching up on literally years of our lives. I won't go into any of those details but throughout the weekend I kept stepping outside of myself and looking at the bond she and I have, as well as women every where. We talked, we ate, we worked out together. We laughed, we cried and we shared our fears and out triumphs. We were vulnerable, and strong.

At one point we had both tried on swimsuits. Now, just the fact that we can model swimsuits for one another is nothing short of a miracle. At this point I will admit I'm not fat per say, but I am definitely aware of my body's flaws. And my friend, whom shares the same name (but a different spelling of it), well, hers is just about perfect, as near as I can see.. But of course, she doesn't see that..."we" (my sisterhood and I) all share that common vulnerability regarding our bodies. Somehow it bonds us.

If you want to see an example of sisterhood displayed between mere strangers, look no further than the nearest department store or boutique dressing room. You can put on a top, dress, pants, shorts or swim suit, walk out in front of the mirror and you will get an honest answer from the other women in there with you. Complete strangers will tell you that your butt no longer looks flat, your waist looks smaller or it makes you taller, or shorter, or slimmer. They'll also (gently, tactfully) let you know if it doesn't. And you know what? The recipient does not get upset or hurt, they're grateful for the complete honesty.

Inside that dressing room you'll also hear a lot of laughter. Women are giggling and making jokes and generally it's quite jovial in there. For instance, there was the time I tried on a bikini in front of my youngest daughter, who looked at me and then said, "Oh god" (and NOT in a good way). I'll be the first to admit that my skin looked like a plucked chicken (it was cold in there) and portions of my body were spilling out. Rather than get mad at her, I just started laughing hysterically. How could I get upset (it did look awful) when even the saleswomen and other patrons started laughing alongside of us (and they hadn't even seen me in the "barely there" bikini)?!

Another conversation that takes place in dressing rooms, is the fact that you might share
that when you look in your already-full closets for the next wedding or party that you are going to attend, and say to your friends that you have nothing to wear, they will understand. Or when you say you need new shoes for the outfit you just bought, because the ones you have at home won't work (even though you have several in the same basic black). Girlfriends will know exactly what that means as well. Or earrings. Or a purse. You get the idea.

Or, you can talk to a perfect stranger in the dressing room, like another shopper did with me in Tahoe. She had on a jaunty nautical-striped jacket. She wasn't sure if if had "fake" pockets on it or if they were just sewn together at the seams. She looked at me and asked my what I thought. I went over and examined the garment and determined it looked as if the pockets were sewn shut. Meanwhile, the saleswoman went to consult the manager to try and sort it out. The patron looked at me and whispered, "But what do you think?" She did not want to buy the jacket if it had "fake' pockets (said it was like teasing herself, and her hands would always head to the pseudo pockets, only to be disappointed). This woman knew she could trust me, a complete stranger. This is because women shoppers frequently consult with one another, rather than the salespeople, because "sisters" will be honest (and sometimes, the salespeople just want to make a sale, unless you are my friend Susie, than you are the very best kind of salesperson, because you put sisterhood above salesmanship and are one of "the girls," even while working!!).

Once in a while there are tears in the dressing room. Could be mine, could be a daughter of mine, could be a friend's or complete stranger. Suffice it to say that the other women will understand those incidents as well, and will more than likely lend a tissue or commiserate whatever it is that ails you (grief over a loved one, PMS, body issues, a need for chocolate or just having a sleep-deprived mommy day). No worries in the dressing room, a "sister" will understand.

I know there are so many more times that the bonds of sisterhood women share are displayed throughout any given day. Don't even get me started on women's restrooms, restaurants, concerts, or walking down the grocery aisles at your local supermarket. The end result is like the popular wedding dance song line (appropriately sung by none other than "Sister Sledge") that says, "We are family. I got all my sisters with me." We're everywhere. No wonder some men are a wee bit intimidated or scared by this fact. I think they just need to embrace it and we, "my sisters" and I, need to celebrate it!



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