"Friendship isn't a big thing-it's a million little things"

Kathe Schwartz Oster

                                                                           

I am a writer. I write. And so you think I would welcome the opportunity to write about Kathe Oster. The truth is, I don’t. Why? Well for the same reason I didn’t when my dad turned 70 and the entire family wrote something about him and read it aloud. I hosted the party and just could not capture in words the depth of my love for that man. I opted out that night. It took me 8 years to finally sit down and pen a letter to him entitled, “Legacy of Love.” I apparently have a difficult time saying what I really want to those I love. And I do love Kathe.

Kathe and I met years ago while teaching at Vista Grande Elementary. In particular, I got to know Kathe when we taught second grade with our friend Ondi. She was our “next door neighbor” and many grade level meetings involved laughing and joking and generally maintaining a sense of humor about the kids, our workload and the job in general. Many of us had our own children at Vista Grande including Kathe and myself and for a number of years it really was like one big extended family. I know my children have fond memories of the school, yes, but it was mainly the staff and their children that they loved. At the time, Kathe took a liking for my youngest daughter Shelby, I think it was their shared fondness for leopard print. My children’s father worked a great deal of overtime as a firefighter and there were times Kathe would take my children so I’d have a tiny stretch of time for myself. Sadly this meant that one time my oldest daughter Morgan accidentally shut the garage door on top of one of Kathe and Jeff’s VERY nice cars, denting the roof slightly. Other than laughing about it (for which I am mortified even thinking about it), neither Kathe nor Jeff ever held it against us.

Shortly after the dented roof, I’d hurt my shoulder badly and had a mean a**hole of a doctor. I had had an appointment where he was very demeaning, albeit very skilled at administering cortisone shots. Well, Kathe heard about it and promptly came with me to the next appointment. While there, her body language made it very clear he could not mess with me or he’d end up messing with Kathe. He looked at her, looked at me, and said he would be excusing himself from my care and assigning a new doctor to me. He did not want the wrath of Kathe the protector.

As two involved moms, and five children between us, our lives naturally drifted apart due to a shortage of time. Kathe eventually left our school and so did I years later. Fast forward to less than one year ago. I had just finished a triathlon and received a phone call from Kathe. It seemed my oldest daughter had been in downtown Danville and ended up hanging out with Keith. She had enjoyed herself and could not get behind a wheel. Keith had asked Kathe if it would be okay if Morgan slept in their guest bedroom. So due to the generous nature of both Kathe and her son, and the inebriated nature of my daughter, Kathe and I jokingly say we have “gotten back together.”

In the past year, I can only say that Kathe has become one of my very best friends. She somehow invited me to join her in running, which to be honest, we both hated. She had the goal to run her first marathon for her 50^th birthday. I was lucky enough to have gotten caught up in the training and completed my first one three weeks before Kathe. She was my Sherpa and I was hers. We are now part of the exclusive marathon “club” and it has definitely been quite a journey.

I cannot begin to bore you with the literally hundreds, perhaps even a thousand phone calls we have made to one another this year. It’s embarrassing really. We’re like two junior high girls. But she is the very best kind of friend. She can get your abs fit because she’ll have you laughing to the point of nearly choking on your food by poking fun of herself, you, or the situation at hand. She has an amazing ability to not take herself too seriously and yet can be seriously smart and has a depth to her that outsiders might miss…. because on top of all of her wonderful caring support, humor, sensitivity, loyalty, intelligence and perseverance, Kathe has killer good looks. She recently showed me a photo of she and Emily when Emily was a newborn baby in the hospital. I asked her how the heck could she look sexy in a flippin hospital gown? Kathe just laughed it off. Seriously, that woman is one amazing lady (well, except that she never cooks…but then again, she can throw one heck of a party).

So here I stand, wishing her the very best birthday as we celebrate 50 years of Kathe. For me, I feel lucky to count her among my friends because as an unknown author once said, “Friendship isn’t a big thing-it’s a million little things.”

Thank you, KathE, for the million little things.             Love, KathY