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I am a daughter, sister, mother, teacher and friend. These are my stories.

Friday, December 30, 2011

Second Annual List of "Firsts" (2011 Edition)


It's that time of year again. So, without further fanfare:

I ran my second half-marathon at the Davis Stampede.

I visited my son while he was away at college in San Diego and watched him play in two lacrosse games. I marveled at his ability to clean the house which he shared with a group of boys so I wasn't mortified when I saw it. I mega-shopped at Costco for food with him and burst into tears when we said good-bye.

I ran my first marathon, 26.2 miles in Napa, CA. Together, with my ex-husband's wife and children's stepmom, we raised over $8,000 for breast cancer in her honor.

I began writing for the San Ramon Patch, posting my blog. I also attended meetings with my women's writing group whenever I could attend. One of my favorites was about a student named Marco. That boy touched my heart but never did graduate. I hope he comes back.

I bicycled around the island of Maui, six days after my first marathon and carrying all of my clothes, shelter and food. I cannot describe how amazing this trip was for me. I was reminded how it was about the journey, not the destination. I made new friends, was challenged physically and saw amazing sights.

I completed my first Bay-to-Breakers race, enjoying myself immensely. I counted lots of naked men and only one naked woman. I hear there were more, I must have missed them.

I watched my oldest daughter graduate from college. I was proud of her as we celebrated this monumental day with both sides of the family. I am, however, still waiting for her to finish her thank-you notes.

I practiced riding and running in heat to get ready for my first Half-Ironman. I got heatstroke while training on my bike with two friends who took very good care of me. This got me a little worried so I went out and bought new gear to wear with cooling technology for race day.

I completed my first Half-Ironman, Vineman 70.3. The weather was relatively pleasant. No heatstroke. I used my heart monitor and enjoyed myself following my three rules: finish, have fun, don't puke. My daughters surprised me and showed up to celebrate with me post-race. I did not need that new gear to wear but think somehow it was insurance against overheating.

I began to train for my second marathon, having been given an entry (well, I had to pay but I got into a lottery-based event).  

I went to Tahoe for what has begun to be my annual trip each summer. I swam in choppy waters at Fallen Leaf Lake with my friend. A day later I went back and wore my new bikini, something I have not done in approximately 31 years. No one fainted and I didn't burn my butt-white belly. I felt a bit more confident about myself that day. I felt I could handle a lot that life has thrown at me.

Later that same day I was challenged in my personal life and have to dig deep(er) than I ever had to before that day. This continued for quite some time.  I rediscovered some semblance of inner strength. My family supported me in the wings. And friends. And teammates. And co-workers. And more. I felt and feel loved. I loved and love.

I ran on a mild day and got my second bout of heatstroke. My running mates, a group I had just met take care of me, making sure I have enough water to finish the run.

I had to sometimes miss runs with my running mate. He was steadfast in his faith and optimism. I had to run alone. I ran to keep sane. I withdraw a little bit. I begin to come home at lunch rather than eat with co-workers. I stay home some weekends rather than go out with people. I retreat, regroup and regain strength.

My youngest daughter completed all 12 college applications, some in-state, some out of state, public and private.

We attempted family photos in October but it was not our day.

My oldest daughter moved to Cleveland to become a labor and delivery nurse. She has found her calling. I visited her and know this is her path. I'm amazed at the hospital, love her new friends and enjoy her new neighborhood. She and her dad have chosen well.

I completed my second marathon and have two very dear and special friends root for me. I'm touched. I somehow completed it even though I'm somewhat physically undertrained. Mentally I celebrated. And smiled. All 26.2 miles of the NIKE Women's Marathon I continued smiling. I'm reminded once again that it is not about the destination, it's about the journey. I see that a theme has developed this year.

I completed my second half-marathon of the year two weeks later, my third one ever. I'm dressed as Robin Hood for a team costume contest (which we lost). But we didn't care. I once again finished another event,  I had fun and I didn't puke. I continued to smile.

I dressed-up that night as Barbie for a Halloween party, looking for Ken. I wondered if this was somehow symbolic but decided to analyze another day. I came home early and check-in with my son who happened to be home.

I analyzed my Barbie costume and decided it was all in fun, I am not Barbie and Ken doesn't exist. If he did, I'm not the gal for him.

My daughter heard back from five of the twelve colleges. So far, all are a "yes."

I'm still challenged but I'm hopeful. I have not wavered in my love or belief that this too shall pass. 

We attempted family photos again in December. It went a bit better but we haven't ordered any yet (cards not sent as a result, my apologies).

I celebrated Christmas with all three of my children at midnight on Christmas Eve. I feel loved by them and my heart is touched. I sense and trust that they feel loved by me, too. I cry happy tears. The year is nearly over. 

I grew a wee bit wiser in the ways of love and relationships. Again. And again.  And again. With room for further growth.  I continued to see the glass half-full and am reminded again it's about the journey, not the destination. 




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